ENM Compass is a self-assessment tool built around three independent axes that capture distinct dimensions of ethical non-monogamy preference.
Measures how interconnected you want your relationships to be with each other. Low = parallel / compartmentalised. High = kitchen-table / family-style.
Measures how much explicit agreement and structure you prefer in your relationships. Low = fluid / emergent. High = clearly-defined / agreement-heavy.
Measures the kind of intimacy and connection you seek across partners. Low = primarily independent. High = deeply interwoven.
Each axis has ten scenario questions. Each is rated 1–5 on a “this is not for me” to “this fits me very well” scale. The mean of an axis is reported as a score from 1 to 10 (rescaled).
Each axis has five profile bands keyed by score: very low, low, mid, high, very high. The band you fall into is paired with practical compatibility notes derived from common ENM relationship dynamics.
A small set of “About You” questions provide texture in the compatibility insights but do not affect scoring. These cover preferences like communication cadence, time horizons, and how you process new partners.
ENM Compass is a reflection prompt, not a diagnosis. It cannot tell you whether ENM is right for you, or who is a good partner for you. It is intended to help you articulate preferences you may already hold but lack vocabulary for.
The 3-axis distillation is the author’s own and is not a published academic instrument. See Resources for further reading.